Summer At the Dursley's?!
by MaryChristmas
Summary: Not exactly what the title suggests...summary inside....
1. Default Chapter

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Summer at the Durselys?!

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**Disclaimer:** Don't own 'em.  
  
**Summary:** Fred, George, Hermione, Ron and Ginny are all staying at the Dursely's for the summer, as it's the most protected spot, aside from Hogwarts. After a single day, Hermione comes up with a plan to get them out of the Dursely's way. However, something goes wrong....  
  
**A/N: I would like to thank Ranma for reviewing this first chapter...I was an idiot when removing stories and removed the wrong "S" one...so I've uploaded it again..**This is supposed to be a humorous fic...unfortunately I fail horribly at that, so simply pretend that it's funny k? Also, this is just a little something I had running around in my head, and the damn plot bunnies won't let me sleep til I at least try to get it written out. Stupid little things. Why can't I have muses like regular writers?  
  
Harry tried in vain to stifle the laughter building up as he watched Fred and George's antics. Not using any magic at all, had not not had any effect on their exuberance or creativity whatsoever. So far today, Aunt Petunia had woken up completely bald (George had put nair in her shampo the night before...), Dudley had been holed up in the bathroom all day, and Uncle Vernon was pounding on the door hollaring for him to hurry up (That was Fred's doing...).  
  
Midafternoon the previous day, Professor Dumbledore had shown up with the twins, Ron, Ginny and Hermione in tow. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia hadn't dared disagree when he had told them they would be staying the summer with them. They were a bit relieved when he had said that they weren't allowed to do magic outside of the school, and when he had confiscated all of the twins' 'stockpile'.  
  
Their relief was shortlived as the twins had, as mentioned before, managed to cause quite a bit of trouble with normal, mundane muggle objects. (Especially after they had learned their uses).  
  
Finally unable to keep it in, Harry let loose a loud guffaw. Aunt Petunia gave him a dirty look, but that just made him laugh all the harder. He hadn't had that much fun in this house since...well he had never had any fun whatsover in this house. He glanced over at Ron who was turning purple from laughing so hard, and forgetting to breath.  
  
Ginny and Hermione chose that moment to walk downstairs. Hermione took in the scene and tried to look severe, but Harry could tell she was trying her best not to laugh. Then she walked over to Aunt Petunia and whispered something in the outraged woman's ear. Whatever it was didn't calm her.  
  
"I am not wasting our hard-earned money on you...you..freaks!"  
  
Hermione looked a bit taken aback by the force of the words, and then she looked determined. "I have plenty of money to do this Mrs. Dursley. Besides, it'll get us out of your hair for a couple of hours at the most."  
  
Ron had stopped laughing, and even the twins were looking interested. Harry looked at his aunt and Hermione, and then over at Ginny who had a knowing smile. She also looked quite a bit excited, and he wondered exactly what plan Hermione had come up with.  
  
Aunt Petunia calmed down slightly, and gave Hermione a shrewd look. Harry was about to jump in and discourage her from asking the girl to pay room and board, when she gave a short nod. "All right..." She looked up to where Vernon was still knocking on the bathroom door and bellowing. "I suppose I'll have to take you." Giving them all disgusted looks, she grabbed the car keys and set off for the door.  
  
Hermione grinned in triumph and gave them all a thumbs up. "Come on you guys, let's go before she changes her mind." She then strode briskly after Petunia, Ginny close behind.  
  
Still in the dark as to what was going on, Harry looked at Ron who shrugged and made to follow Hermione. Fred and George beat him to the punch, nearly pushing him to the ground. There ensued a brief battle, in which Ron did end up on the ground. Harry rolled his eyes and helped his friend to his feet as they walked out the door.  
  


******

  
  
Harry looked on in amusement as the Weasley's all exclaimed over the shopping mall (Aunt Petunia having dropped them off at the entrance). They each wanted to go and have a look at something different, but Hermione told them that they were going to see something really interesting. She gave Harry a knowing glance, but he wasn't sure what to interpret from it. He had never been to the mall either. Whenever Aunt Petunia had gone shopping, Uncle Vernon was either at home, or he stayed with Mrs. Figg.  
  
Finally, they came to their destination. At least Harry hoped it was. It was getting a bit hard to keep Fred and George from wandering off by themselves. It was the mall's theatre. He looked at all the posters of movies now showing, and tried to pretend he didn't know the Weasleys as they kept asking why the people weren't moving. Everyone passing gave them odd looks.  
  
"Wait here," Hermione said, "I'll be right back with our tickets." She walked up to a small booth and purchased six tickets for a movie. Harry couldn't quite make out the title, though it sounded like "Gold-something".  
  
"All right," she beamed handing each of them a ticket, "Now, we're going to go through here and see a movie."  
  
"A movie? Is that like the picture box?" Fred asked.  
  
"Er..something like that," Harry quickly inserted, before Hermione could go into cinematic history, which it looked as though she were going to. "What movie is it?"  
  
Hermione just grinned. "It's just something I thought the twins would enjoy, and I don't trust them alone so we've got to go along. I've seen the first two and I heard this one was way better. I don't much care for this type of film, but it is good for a laugh or two." She grew serious suddenly. "There hasn't been much to laugh about lately, has there?"  
  
Harry frowned and sighed. No, there hadn't. Not with last years events. "You're right...we'd better get going before it starts."  
  
"Right."  
  


******

  
  
"Groovy movie, don't you think Fred?" George asked as they all waited for Aunt Petunia to return.  
  
"Shagadelic I'd say, George. Yeah baby, yeah!" Fred answered.  
  
Hermione put her head in her hands and muttered something. Harry looked over at her in concern. The movie had been hilarious, and he'd thought even Hermione had liked it. Ron, also looked concerned and put a hand on her shoulder.  
  
She looked up and made a face. "I should have known they'd try to mimic that Austin guy. I should have known."  
  
George suddenly slapped his hand down hard on the pavement. "Vat did you say?"  
  
"Now now, Frau," Fred admonished, trying to get Dr. Evil's voice, "I'm sure the silly little girl didn't mean it. Did you little girl?"  
  
Hermione glared at him, while Ginny, Ron and Harry all laughed. She huffed and looked over at Ron who was holding his hand to his pocket protectively.  
  
"What have you got there Ron?" She asked, her voice full of suspicion.  
  
Ron beamed. "My ticket stub...Mum and Dad'll never believe I went and saw a mover."  
  
"You mean a movie," Hermione corrected with a sniff, "And it's silly to keep hold of a ticket stub you know."  
  
Harry, sensing a battle forthcoming, tried to change the subject. However, before he even had a chance, a strange dark cloud settled over them. Instinctively, Harry reached for his wand, but it wasn't there. It was back in his room at Number Four Privet Drive. Then, quite suddenly, he couldn't breath. Just before he passed out, he noticed that the others had done the same, and were all looking quite panicked.  
  


******

  
  
"He's going to be all right?"  
  
"Yes, though I suspect he might be a bit groggy when he comes to."  
  
Harry frowned as the voices invaded his sleep. It was summer, and he hadn't had to get up and cook at all, not since the Dursley's had learned about Sirius. Then, memories came flooding back and he sat up straight, opening his eyes as he did so. He blinked as he realized he was in an unfamiliar place. It was a white room filled with all sorts of strange equipment. He looked over at the two people who had spoken. One was a tall young woman with bright red hair. She looked a bit like Ginny in her facial features. The other looked a bit like Fred. Or was it George? Again though, he was quite a bit older.  
  
"Glad to see you're up and about Austin," the Fred or George look-alike said.   
  
Harry frowned and opened his mouth to deny being this Austin person, when he caught a glimpse of his father. No, it was _himself_. Older, perhaps, but it was him. And...he was wearing the most frightful looking clothes. They were just like the ones that Austin Powers guy had had on in the movie. And then it hit him.  
  
**A/N:** Hmm...this is turning out like I had thought...my fingers have minds of their own...it was originally supposed to be a short, funny story. Now, it's turning out to be a bit longer...and not really funny at all...*sighs* 


	2. Default Chapter

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Summer At the Dursley's?!

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**A/N:** I would like to thank Ranma (from the first time I uploaded chapter one...), Suga Baby, Slone, RainChild and someone who didn't leave their name for the very kind reviews....  
  
And Cyberwolf, I have no idea what you're talking about *whistles innocently*  
  
  
  
And then it hit him...  
  
He _was_ supposed to be Austin Powers. Harry groaned and lay back on the bed, closing his eyes as though that would shut out this horrifying prospect. Certainly the movie had been funny enough--but he did not want to relive it. That was about when something else hit him. Ginny and Fred (or George) had called him Austin--as if they hadn't known to call him anything else. He opened his eyes to find their concerned gazes on him.  
  
"Er...Ginny?"  
  
The young woman's look turned from concerned to confused. "I'm sorry? Was Ginny a girlfriend of yours?"  
  
Harry quickly shook his head in the negative, and then groaned when a lancing pain reverberated through his skull. He put his hand to his head, frowning when it encountered a heavy cloth. He closed his eyes again. This was not happening...he was not lying here in some strange place, and George (or Fred) and Ginny had not forgotten who they were or who he was. And who knew where Hermione, Ron and the other twin was at?  
  
"Basil," the not Ginny asked softly, "D'you think he's really well enough? I could...come back later if not." She sounded as though she'd rather not resort to that.  
  
Harry very nearly choked as he tried to hold back the amazed laughter. One of the twins that Basil Exposition guy? He was the most stoic, rule-abiding character in the whole movie, two things he did not think of when thinking of Fred and George. They were more like Austin than he could ever hope to be (and he most definitely did NOT). In fact, if either one knew about this, they'd probably have a heart attack or something.  
  
"Oh yes, I absolutely certain he's perfectly well enough for the job," Fred or George (Harry couldn't quite think of him as Basil without having to keep from laughing) stated with assurance. "Austin, I'd like you to meet Agent Rita Book, codename Sixty-Nine."  
  
Harry smiled and held out his hand. "Nice to meet you Miss Book."  
  
The girl looked a bit relieved and gave Basil (it was easier than trying to figure out which twin he was) a sideways glance, even as she clasped his hand. Harry felt a slight jolt as their hands touched, but he decided it was his imagination a few seconds later.  
  
"It's nice to meet you as well Mister Powers. Basil here has been telling me quite a bit about you." Again, she gave the other man a confused little glance.  
  
Basil, for his part was again frowning in concern. "Perhaps you aren't well enough after all Austin..."  
  
"I'm well enough!" Harry quickly inserted. He had no idea as to what it was that he needed to be in good shape for, but somehow, he knew that if he stayed here he would have no chance of finding the others, or how to get out of wherever they had been sent to. Searching his mind for a reasonable excuse for not acting how this Austin character should act (besides the obvious reason that he wasn't Austin), he remembered what he had heard upon first waking. "I am a bit...groggy though."  
  
To his relief, Basil gave him a beaming smile (honestly, if Fred or George only knew how much they were acting like Percy, they'd have an apoplexy). "That's wonderful news Austin. I'm going to leave you two alone now, no funny business Austin. Agent Book will fill you in on the details."  
  
Harry frowned as he watched Basil leave, wondering what the man could possibly mean. Then he shrugged and turned to Ginny. She was staring at him oddly and after a few minutes he asked impatiently, "Well?"  
  
Agent Book cleared her throat slightly and shook her head. "Dr. Evil has kidnapped Basil Exposition..."  
  
"I thought the guy who just left was Basil?" Harry asked, more confused than ever now."  
  
"Well, yes, he is the real Basil...but it seems that he has a look-alike. We recieved this footage in the mail today." She took what looked like a fancy remote to a telly and pointed at the wall, pressing a button as she did so. Almost at once a large screen came out of the wall. Ginny pressed another button and the screen came to life.  
  
Harry gaped as he stared at his best friend. For it was Ron who stared back with a malicious sneer. It would have been effective, except that he was completely bald and was holding his pinky finger up to his lower lip. Harry let loose a small groan. This was not happening. It was not!  
  
"Ministry of Defense!" Ron shouted, "I have kidnapped Basil Exposition, and unless you give me five billion, kazillion, trillion, million bumbalillion, tillion analyxiillion galleons I will...what?" Ron turned his face to someone offscreen. Another voice could be heard, though it was muffled. "Whatever Scott, talk to the hand." He turned back to the screen. "As I was saying, unless I recieve payment...I will launch Mister Exposition into the sun! Muahahahahahahaha, muahahahaha, muahahaha! Oh and just in case you don't believe me..."  
  
The screen switched views and the other twin was shown, tied up in the corner and looking very frazzled indeed. "Ron you prat, let me go! This isn't funny! Stop pretending! I'm George, not Basil Exposition! I mean c'mon!" The screen then switched back to Ron, "Nice try Exposition. Remember, by midnight tomorrow night!" The screen went blank.  
  
At least that answered Harry's question as to which was which. 


End file.
